Climb Every Mountain.

37. Climb every mountain!

Maria's Mother Superior said it first, climb every mountain until you find your dreams. A little cheesy, maybe, but when you follow her advice literally, suddenly it makes complete sense. We can't go around the mountains and seemingly unsurpassable struggles in life, we have to go over them to see the other side. Mother Superior's words were a foreshadowing of years later when the Von Trapp family would escape from the Nazis over the Alps into Switzerland and freedom. That's whats on the other side: freedom.

Sometimes, as my friends and I hiked up these same Alps in Austria, I felt like the Von Trapp clan in their ponchos and leiderhosen, marching through the patches of snow, breathing in the freshest air I ever breathed. As I climbed, I shed layers of clothes, and along with them, the weight of the stress on my mind. I've never been much of a hiker before then, but the high was addicting, and pretty soon, I found myself pushing to climb more mountains, higher and higher. Once, we randomly scrambled straight up a waterfall on the side of a road, for no reason other than that we wanted to see the top. We often explored the mountains surrounding the Kartause, in the afternoons after classes were over, but that meant it was a race to the top so that we could make in down by dark. More than once, we found a snow and leaf-filled crevice on the way down and would  slide all the way down the side of the mountain on our backsides. Terrifying, especially when you're laughing so hard you can barely breathe or keep your balance the whole way down. Another time, I remember getting a jogging start when the leader of the group set the pace, and before I knew it, I had run full speed down the side of a massive mountain, all the way to the street. That's freedom, my friends. 

Shedding layers. 

After telling the conflicted Maria to find her dream at the top of a mountain, Mother Superior goes on to tell her that it must be "a dream that needs all the love you can give, every day of your life, for as long as you live." What is a dream unless it is something that we are willing to put all of our love into, for the rest of our lives? Real dreams don't end when the love runs out, or when they get boring. Those are merely passing interests and momentary passions. A dream is something that needs our love to make it happen and exist. It is also something that we may never find, if we are too lazy or discouraged to climb through the snow and ice, over the rocks and fallen trees, too reluctant to shed the layers that weigh us down, in order to find what lies at the top. Only then are we that much closer to heaven than we were before. 

Climbing Book Mountain.

Sliding down the crevice!

38. When you are in awe of God and His works, sing praise from the highest mountaintops!

Climbing the waterfall.

Oh, so worth the climb. 

A tradition that my friends and I began in Ireland at the Cliffs of Moher, was to sing praise with our whole hearts and souls, in complete and utter awe and speechlessness of His great creation and the blessing we have in being able to experience it. To name just a few of the incredible places where this happened: Book Mountain in Gaming with the sun setting before us, St. Francis' Hermitage in Assisi (where we were supposed to be dead silent but oh well), other various mountains around Gaming, the top of a waterfall that we climbed in Hallstatt, sometimes just in our room...But always, always a little out of tune.

Those are some of my favorite memories, kept in a special place in my heart, right next to the food.

God and I had many conversations because of those mountains, just like Moses. Minus the trumpets and the thunder.

39. Don't wait for opportunities, look for them.

If I just sat in my room, waiting for people to invite me to travel with them, I probably would have had a perfectly fine semester abroad, going here and there with random people. But the most memorable trips often happened when I ran through the halls yelling things like,"WHO WANTS TO GO SEE POPE FRANCIS WITH ME???" .......ok so that wasn't one of the most successful trips but I DID get to see him so I'd say it was worth it, right?

The point is, if we sit around and wait for something to happen to us, wait for our prayers to be answered, wait for the future to unfold for us, yeah, things will happen. But those opportunities that we actively seek and pursue are the ones that are most formative and show us the most about ourselves and what is most important to us.

One day in Rome, after witnessing the scores of homeless begging and sleeping at every corner of that great and powerful city and wandering the subways, a few of my friends and I decided to follow the idea of one of our friends and bought a few bags of dollar menu items to hand them out to the needy people we came across. Well, what started out as a good way to spend the afternoon, soon became a lesson in humility and perseverance. It began raining, and mysteriously the homeless people that seemed to be everywhere were suddenly nowhere. We split up and started going up and down the streets searching for someone to eat these sandwiches. One woman refused the food entirely. Ok.....I didn't get it. But as we stood on the sidewalk trying to eat these mushy burgers so they wouldn't go to waste, I was glad that I had actively looked for people to minister to, rather than waiting for the opportunity to plop onto my lap (often my method). And it was worth it because of the one hungry, damp homeless woman who got four or five burgers that day, because no one else wanted them. Lesson in humility and perseverance learned, thanks God.

40. Eat vegetables whenever you can, because you never know when there may be NONE. 

I love my veggies. I'll get a huge pile of green beans for dinner and I'm happy to eat them all and the ones my five siblings leave behind, too. In the Kartause, the only option was usually a reheated, chopped veggie mix, and some limp salad fixings. I probably got most of my vitamins and minerals from spaghetti sauce and the lettuce on the kebabs. When I got back to the States, I ate vegetables almost exclusively for most of the summer to make up for lost time. Despite that binge, I think my body still hasn't forgiven me.

Veggies can be pretty, too. 

You're probably reading this thinking, 'Wow this isn't very deep at all, why is she rambling about veggies for a whole paragraph of this blog?" And my answer to that is, 'I WAS DEPRIVED, OK??"









"He said, "Go forth and stand on the mountain before the LORD." And behold, the LORD was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing."    1 Kings 19:11-12

A Desert Soul.

So it took me a while to crank out these last few things on the list....but I didn't forget! It's a new year, new blog post...that's a good excuse, right? Ok, good.


33. Don't be afraid to talk about God and what He has done in your life. 

This may seem like a no-brainer to some of you, but let's be honest, there have been moments where you just kept your mouth shut when you could have said something about your faith, however small and passing. It's just so much easier to pretend it will make things more awkward or complicated to mention it. But God should come just as naturally to our lips as news about our family or something that happened to so-and-so the other day.

The good works he performs in our lives are His Divinely wise way of communicating His love, not only to us, but to those we come in contact with. That is why it is totally normal to want to tell the whole world when our prayers have been answered or when we have received some amazing healing experience. This should not and cannot be suppressed. It wells up within us because it is meant to be shared.

Also, we probably have more in common with the people around us than we think.

Austria became a time of sharing stories, experiences and encounters with the Lord that carry on, even now, months later. I still find myself getting fired up to share stories about what He showed me that semester in life-changing places like Auschwitz and Assisi.

34. I am a desert soul without God. 

"Like a deer that longs for running streams, so my soul longs for you, O God." [Ps. 42:1] This thirst for God is only satiated by one thing and one thing only. The endless torrents of living waters that flow from His wounded side. THAT is our source. Without it, our souls would be barren, dusty places, and we would be parched and weak. A deserted place is not fulfilling, useful, or interesting. So why not choose to live where there is an abundance?

And yet God leads us through deserts sometimes. Why? We always want to know why he does this to us. Well, folks, I have the answer so listen closely.

He leads us through the driest and most miserable of deserts, because he's our Shepherd, leading us to the next patch of fresh green grass and the cool, blue lake in the distance. In the land where Jesus preached and called himself the Good Shepherd (John 10:11), there ain't no "verdant pastures." It was cracking, dusty land with lucky patches of grass. The shepherds of the region lead the sheep (or goats as the case may be...) through the dryness to the place where they can be nourished and refreshed, as they still do today. So it is with our Divine Shepherd. It's our own fault if we get lost in the desert part in between.

If you don't believe me yet that that's the answer to the eternal 'why', that's just because you'll know I'm right when you get to the refreshment part. Austria was one of my pastures. Lots of dryness at times, but my soul has been given refreshment that it will not easily forget.

The Holy Land. 

I'm desperate for a desperate heart.

All that I am is dry bones, without You, Lord, a desert soul. 

I am broken but running toward you God, You make me whole. 

[from Desert Soul, by The Rend Collective Experiment.]

This song was my theme song for a while....good stuff.

35. Be who the Lord wants you to be, not what others want to see. 

It's much easier said than done, but oh, so freeing when it is accomplished. And as it turns out, all people really want to see is God, so that helps. That's all I have to say about that.

36. Study in the sunshine.  

Something I have always loved doing, this habit reached its apex in Gaming. The last two weeks of the semester brought the most beautiful weather in the world to that little village in the mountains, but they also coincided with preparation for and taking of final exams. So we made the best of it and brought our flashcards and study groups out to the courtyards of the Kartause and basked in the warm sunshine that had been so absent for so long. There were always one or two people strumming their guitars for a little studying accompaniment and everyone put down blankets on the grass and set up camp. Peace. I wish it was always possible.

Not studying but...sunshine!

The Lepers.

29. Who are the lepers in your life? Embrace them. 

St. Damien

St. Damien of Molokai was a Belgian priest from the 1800s, known as "the leper priest" because he volunteered to go on an assignment to live amongst the leper colony in Honolulu, Hawaii. The lepers there had been cast out of society because of their grotesque appearance and highly contagious disease. Yet Father Damien lived in their midst, reaching out at touching lepers of all ages. Within 8 years, he had contracted the deadly disease, but continued to build hospitals, churches, and hundreds of coffins for the community until his death in 1885. At his canonization in 2009, Benedict XVI noted that he "made the choice to go on the island of Molokai in the service of lepers who were there, abandoned by all. So he exposed himself to the disease of which they suffered. With them he felt at home. The servant of the Word became a suffering servant, leper with the lepers, during the last four years of his life." 

We all have lepers in our lives. Maybe they don't have a nasty disease but they drive us crazy or know exactly how to annoy us. Maybe they make us feel uncomfortable or grossed out. They aren't the people we look forward to seeing or spending time with and we avoid them whenever possible. These are our lepers. 

We are called to not just put up with these people, but to EMBRACE them on a daily basis. I want to try to be more like St. Damien and put my wants and comforts aside and take on the thorns of others, even if it means giving up all I have, never able to go back. He took on their ugliness and pain and lived among them, just as Jesus took on our ugliness and pain. Its not just an action for Jesus to do, we can do it to. Awesome. 

30. We make excuses not to spend time with the ones we dislike, not the One we should love. 

Boom baby. What's your best excuse? Studying? Cleaning? Working? Seeing the Eiffel Tower? LAME. All of them are lame.

31. You're not missing out. Go be alone. 

Ok, I admit it. My name is Corinne Kathryn Purcell and I have chronic FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). This escalated in Austria because I was determined to make the most of my time there and go out and do as much as I could with as many different people as possible. I pretty much lived from movie night to movie night because I just could not say NO! It's sad, I know.

For the most part this is not necessarily a bad thing. Living in the moment is a great way to live and get the most out of life and God's plan for every second of every day. But, news flash, alone time is also invaluable. It's also almost impossible to find at the Kartause. There are people in every crevice and corner; but we forget that there are massive mountains and lakes and hiking paths surrounding that monastery. That means plenty of places to hop on a bike and ride to and just be alone with your thoughts and with God and His creation. It's just as memorable as good times had with other people, the difference is that those are memories that no one else will ever have but you. Find a place where no one else knows but you and go there when you can. Sometimes these are the only sane moments you can snag.

In fact, if you don't any spend time alone, you actually ARE missing out. You are losing precious time that the Lord has set aside in the day for you to be still and listen to only Him, away from the background noise.


32. Don't let distance stop you from going where ever you want to go. 

When you have to make travel plans pretty much every weekend, from train reservations to hostel booking, the one thing that is mysteriously not taken into account is distance (within reason). Especially having the Eurail pass that is prepaid fare, you can go anywhere in Europe. If you want to go to Paris and it's 24 hours away by train, you still go to Paris. If you want to go to Hallstatt, Austria, which is about 4 hours away, you can go. The hours spent in the train never mattered. Time was just a means from one memory to the next. We live in a very small world, friends. Go where you want to go, and be all there.

Photo cred: Matt Seal

Ambassador in Chains.

At this point, I am a little over halfway through my list of 41 lessons God taught me in Austria. When I started, it was a project that was more for the purpose of remembering why and where I learned them before too much time passed and they were forgotten. But I am realizing more and more that these are invaluable memories that I will never forget, because they have shaped and molded me into who I am. I thought I was officially unpacked from the semester when I put the suitcase back in storage and uploaded the last pictures. But the real unpacking is going on right here. And I have a feeling it will be going on for the rest of my life. Praise the Lord! 

25. Pray as a family.

The greatest witnesses I met in Austria were the professors and their children. Each and every family is a shining example of how all families should strive to live. They eat meals together, they play together, they help each other. But most importantly, they attend daily Mass together, they take shifts at adoration, and they pray rosaries together. It helps when you have enough kids where each one can lead a decade! I have felt many powerful emotions, seeing a couple kneeling with their arms around each other whispering prayers in the back of the church after Mass, or watching my professor run to the adoration chapel in the 15 minutes between his classes. In Romania, I rode with the Newton family in their van to one of the schools in the countryside that we were visiting. Despite a few throwing up in the backseat  and some nodding off, they pressed on and the rosary was completed TWICE during that trip. The littlest ones couldn't even keep count of the Hail Marys but it didn't matter because they all helped each other. Mrs. Newton offered beautiful meditations on each of the mysteries, and Prof. Newton chimed in with little theological tidbits. All of this occurred in British accents, by the way. It was one of the most beautifully raw rosaries I have ever been a part of, and I know one day my children will follow this tradition, too.

26. Forgive your spouse every night, and ask for their forgiveness. 

Ok this is revolutionary, folks. Well maybe not, because I don't have a spouse or any experience in this field whatsoever, but I love it. One night in Gaming, the wives and mothers formed a panel about dating and marriage for the ladies to go and ask questions and listen to their stories. One of them shared that she and her husband sit down on the bed each night and forgive each other and ask forgiveness for any time they have wronged the other during that day. That act of humbling themselves and baring themselves before God and one another is what allows their relationship to thrive and be sustained. We often go through the day, totally unaware of something we said or did that may have hurt or upset those we love the most. It's scary and vulnerable and uncomfortable. It almost sounds excessive and over the top. I'm a single college student, but even I can recognize that this kind of communication is crucial to the husband-wife commitment to lead each other to heaven. This practice is another one that I plan to one day incorporate into my relationship with my future spouse.

27. Stop complaining. Instead, offer your pain for those who truly suffer. 

This one is so hard for me. Complaints just fall out of my mouth with no pretense or thought. If I'm hungry, tired, or not feeling well, I just say it out loud. More often than not, I fall into hypochondria and exaggeration before I even attempt to think reasonably about how I'm actually feeling. A little of that is my hypochondriac personality, but mostly I just don't think before I start ranting. In my defense, it's usually a matter-of-fact statement rather than an annoying whine but maybe that's all in my head, too!  However, parts of my life have helped me to cut back on this bad habit and keep my mouth closed (for the most part).

First, my adopted brothers and sisters. My sisters lived in an orphanage in the Philippines their entire lives, from when they were 1 and 2 years old, until they came home to us when they were 11 and 12. They were healthy and fed three meals a day there, but there was absolutely no wasting and no extras. They each had a small plastic bin of clothes and that was it. But on Christmas, each child at the home goes through their bin and chooses something they don't need and they all bring of those clothes outside to the children on the streets who have even less than they do. And here I am complaining that the dryer is slowly eating my socks. They've been home with us for almost 8 months now and they still eat whatever is placed in front of them, whether they like it or not. Ok, they are a little picky now, but their concept of need vs. want is far more mature that the average preteen's.

Street children in the Philippines. 

Through various and sundry experiences and influences like these, I have come to realize one thing. Complaining does absolutely nothing. It makes nothing any better and doesn't even make me feel better. But keeping that complaint inside and offering that discomfort to the Lord for someone else, that actually accomplishes something. That offering makes use of my suffering for good, rather than doing nothing at all.

28. I am an ambassador in chains. 

This bold statement is made by the St. Paul in his letter to the Ephesians. He urges us to take on the armor of God, the sword of the Spirit, and the shield of faith to resist the evil one. He then goes on to say, "With all prayer and supplication, pray at every opportunity in the Spirit. To that end, be watchful with all perseverance and supplication for all the holy ones. And also for me, that speech may be given me to open my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, so that I may have the courage to speak as I must." [Eph. 6:18-20]

Those three verses call out to me. They may as well have been written in a letter to Corinne, instead of the Ephesians. I love the imagery of putting on our armor and preparing for battle against the flaming arrows of the evil one. We are warriors in God's army, fighting for love and truth that has already been won. 

Warriors. The Stella kind.
(That's me, second from right.)

But what does he mean by being "in chains"? Doesn't sound like a very effective missionary. Now, I'm no scriptural theologian, but Paul was literally in chains when he wrote this letter to the Christians in Ephesus. It it believed that during one of his periods of imprisonment, he wrote this letter to encourage and build up the people, despite his afflictions and bondage. He was even known to minister to those who held him captive. He knew that the gospel could not be bound by chains and he was an ambassador of the Word regardless of his own bondage, physically or spiritually. 

In my travels, I often felt chained by exhaustion, by time crunches, by language barriers. It was a struggle to reach beyond strict travel schedules or various discomforts to be present as a witness where ever I went at the same time. But, praise God, it was always fruitful when I succeeded to do so. 

Let's chain ourselves to something greater, like the cross, and be missionaries of the Spirit even when it seems impossible. 

St. Paul, pray for us. 

Real Talk.

20. You can never eat too much Milka or too many kebabs. 

These two are going to kill me for this but these pictures are too perfect. I just won't tell them about it. Julia's face (on left) is not disgust, but rather, "There's no Oreo Milka left, we are going to die."

And I can't look at that kebab anymore because I'm drooling all over the place and that's really inappropriate for my age.

21. Travel is about adventure and unmade plans. 

We had no idea where we were. 

This is another one that is self-explanatory. If you need to have a plan in order to have fun, please go for it. But otherwise, do a little research, book a clean hostel, and MAKE TRAIN RESERVATIONS and just go. Travel overnight, sit next to strangers, sleep wherever you can. Pack light, and bring deodorant and rub it everywhere and you should be fine. If you feel like you are going crazy from lack of sleep, you probably are. So just roll with the punches and take a video so you can look back and laugh later. You'll need that laugh when you get lost or stranded somewhere and you wonder if you'll ever see home again. Welcome every mishap as a surprise adventure and add it to the long list of memories. There is nothing I regret. Not a single Milka bar.


22. Love is needed everywhere.

I bought my first pair of TOMS right before Austria and did a really hipster thing and wrote with Sharpie on the soles of them. I wrote "Take me where love is needed," because I was being all symbolic and sentimental and I wanted those unbelievably comfortable shoes to take my feet to the places where I was called to be. I wanted to live out Mother Theresa's call for us to be Christ's hands and feet on this earth. As it turns out, those shoes taught me a lesson that I should have realized before I even wrote that message on them. Love is needed everywhere. Duh. That is so hard to get our minds around because we are so used to thinking, usually subconsciously, that certain people need or deserve more love than others at any given time. It didn't matter where I wore those shoes, which happened to be everywhere, I was called to be there in that moment. But the gypsies in the slums in Romania need my love just as much as the  bag lady that sits outside the basilica everyday on my way to work in Baltimore. I know that, but I don't always act on it. I walked through that slum with a bleeding heart, but if I'm late for work I sometimes just pass that misfortunate woman like I passed the tree on the block before.

Love is needed everywhere. So take it there yourself.

Hopefully, you won't need your worn-out, smelly shoes to tell you that.

23. Even during the most horrific of tragedies, there is mercy and hope. 

Ah yes, I've been looking forward to this one. This is a biggie. In February, we went on a school trip to Poland. After seeing the miraculous image of Our Lady of Częstochowa, we headed to the Nazi concentration camp in Auschwitz. I was not and could not have been mentally prepared for what I experienced there. (I have told many people about this already so I apologize if I repeat myself.) You can read a library of books about the Holocaust and watch every World War II movie out there and still not be able to adequately comprehend what happened there until you step between the barbed wire fences where it all happened. I didn't say a word that whole day. No one did. There was nothing you could say that wouldn't sound stupid and menial. It was something that everyone should go see but that I never want to see again. Ever. I walked through the cold, wet weather through various cells and torture rooms and filthy living quarters. I passed the execution wall and the place where escapees were hanged for all to see. I walked into the cement gas chamber and walked out the other side, barely able to catch my breath. I saw piles and massive mounds of things that belonged to innocent people who ended up dying with nothing, not even the hair on their heads. One room held thousands of suitcases with names painted on them, as if their owners planned to come back to get them and finally go back home. We also went a few miles down the road to the death camp at Birkenau. As we walked through the snow and slush along the fateful train tracks that ended at the gas chambers, I opened my coat and let my face and hands sting in the freezing wind. I wanted to feel alive. 

Auschwitz

I felt anger and disbelief. I felt hatred. This event was not so far off from the holocaust of the innocent unborn that happens every day, as we speak. How can people walk through this camp and shake their heads at the black souls of the Nazis, but they don't bat an eyelash at the thousands that suffer and die before they even get a breath of air? How bad is it going to get before people are as horrified at that, as they are at the Jewish Holocaust? I. was. so. angry. 

Birkenau

Then I did it. I despaired. I believed that there was no hope left for us. 

But Professor Cassidy had warned us of this. He said, "Before you give in to that despair, make the choice to get back on the bus and go experience Divine Mercy." So I got back on the bus with the other somewhat stunned students and we headed to Krakow. I felt like I could finally breathe. Divine Mercy is one of the most beautiful undeserved gifts we can ever receive.  

   
I love this image of St. Faustina's vision because it reveals something that the normal Divine Mercy image doesn't really show. 

Those rays are shooting out of His heart to flood over us. 

In her diary, St. Faustina wrote these words that she heard from Christ, "There is no misery that could be a match for My mercy, neither will misery exhaust it, because as it is being granted-it increases. The soul that trusts in My mercy is most fortunate, because I  myself take care of it.” (1273)

I hope that I can count myself as one of those blessed souls.  

24. The Divine Mercy chaplet isn't just helpful, it is necessary. 

This basic prayer may take under ten minutes, but it is a desperate plea for mercy and a pledge of trust. It is also a guaranteed conduit for mercy and graces. 

"Say unceasingly the Chaplet that I have taught you. Whoever will recite it, they will receive great mercy at the hour of death. Priests will recommend it to sinners as their last hope of salvation. Even if there were a sinner most hardened, if he were to recite this chaplet only once, he would receive grace from My infinite mercy." (Diary, 687)

Rather, hope.

Pope Benedict XVI. Crying. 

15. Real men cry.

They just do. From the biggest, most moving events, to the smallest touching moments. One weeknight in Austria, I watched The Notebook with two of the most incredibly manly men I know, and one cried (and even knew which parts to cry at), and the other fought the tears with anger. And that is ok. If you have a big heart, then you won't be afraid to let it shine through. Be moved. It's a beautiful thing.

You know who you are. :)

Warrior brothers. Crying. 

Ray Lewis. SuperBowl champ. Crying. 

The most real man of our time. Crying. 

16. We receive a changed heart every day. 

You could say this sentence became my theme for the semester. Thank goodness for continual conversion and constant stirring of the spirit in my heart, or I'd be running on the treadmill of an empty life. One of my favorite Bible stories is the story of the adulteress in John chapter 8. She feels like she can never get out of this deep, dark hole she has found herself in. She feels like her situation is all her fault and no one can save her now, because her life will always be a dirty mess. She feels like she will only be remembered as the cheater, the whore, the girl who has no self-control, because that is what she is. I don't deserve to go on because nothing will change, she thinks. So often we join her there, curled up on the ground, weighed down by hopelessness. It's nothing new, this stoning punishment. Then, as she crouches there in the dust, bracing herself for the blows, she hears a voice over her. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." To her amazement, she hears the stones fall from their hands to the ground around her and soon she is alone with Him. He looks her in the eyes and says, "Neither do I condemn you. Go, and do not sin again." He made her new. He placed a new heart where the stony one had been, so that she could get up and move forward. Every morning, when I open my eyes, after hitting snooze 36 times, I ask for a new heart. A heart that isn't prideful like it was yesterday, a heart that isn't lukewarm like it was yesterday, a heart that isn't despairing like it was yesterday. And every morning, he says to me, "Behold, I make all things new."

"Neither do I condemn you."

Here is a video I made for the middle school religious ed at my parish about God's never-ending promise to make us new again. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCHIA6e-aIg&feature=youtu.be 

17. Do not despair for this generation who reject the Lord, there is hope. 

When I went on mission to Romania, I spent most of my days planning the youth night events for the teens. I then spent my nights doing skits and making a fool of myself, giving talks on chastity and prayer, and leading small groups along with my team. Then, I did it all over again. It was exhausting in every meaning of the word, but especially when I spoke to the teens and felt their ominous despair. It seemed like they all want to leave Romania because they feel like they can't be themselves and fulfill their dreams there. They feel like they are trapped in the world and there is no other choice. Many of them could not even comprehend why we would rather enjoy our careers than make the most money (i.e. youth minister, missionary, teacher). It was very hard to meet them there and break through those high walls that they didn't even know they were building. My team and I often felt pulled down too, at times running out of words to encourage them. But by the end of the week, buried deep within them...there was a tiny seed of hope. One after the other, they asked questions and leaned forward intently as we told them about adoration and confession and chastity. I don't know what they are doing today, but at least they know that hope is a real and living Person.

18. Everyone has a home in the Catholic Church, especially in Rome. 

If I had to describe how I felt when I walked into St. Peter's Basilica in Rome in one word, it would beyond a doubt be HOME. I know this seems to go against my other post, but really it doesn't. That place is the heart of the Body of Christ, that is the Church. Even if you aren't Catholic, that place is your home, and you know that as soon as you step through the doorway and your breath is taken away by the sheer massiveness and beauty of it all. My neck got tired from wandering around with my head up in the air and my mouth open like a dork. There's even a kind of holy light filtering through the upper windows that gives the whole basilica a glow. That feeling of awe can only be attributed to the realization that we belong to something much bigger than our youth group, our parish, or our school. We belong to the Catholic Church, the oldest church founded by Christ, Himself. There are 1.2 billion people who all follow the same beautiful and unchanging teachings, all lead by one man, Pope Francis. Oh, and he happens to live right around the corner from St. Peter's.

Everyone belongs.

Everyone should feel an unmistakeable pull towards Rome.

I know I always will.

19. If the Church is our home, why wouldn't we run to her?? 

This is embarrassing because the person who said this most definitely has no idea that his passing comment has stuck in my mind all this time. So, I am sorry Nick, if you happen to read this and think I'm a crazy lady! :) My friend Nick is a seminarian. He sat behind me on the bus on the long and miserable road trip through the night from Gaming to Rome. We arrived in Rome around 6AM and there was an appointed group that was prepared to run, yes I said run, through the streets to St. Peter's Square to get a spot in line for Pope Benedict XVI's last audience. At one point as the bus was parking, I turned around and Nick was magically wearing his cassock. I said, "Are you a runner?" to which he replied, "I'm home! Why wouldn't I be running??" I was moved. And he was off at a sprint after his beautiful  Bride-to-be, the big ol' Church. Awesome. Thanks, Nick! 

Nothing Left.

11. A beer and a good friend can make a bad day into a perfect one. 

While the beer is not crucial to this statement, it definitely made for a lot of special memories during that semester. The Kartause Keller has their own brew of dunkel that tastes like...I don't know, really really good Austrian beer. There's nothing like it. Also its right down the stairs from where I lived, a definite plus. A pitcher was just 7 euros but the long talks and great laughs we had went far beyond that. Sometimes we went to the Keller to "study," or just because there was nothing else to do. But my favorite evenings there were just me and a friend, philosophizing and getting deep. Maybe it's my imagination but it also seems like men actually prefer to have discussions over a beer...whatever works for you! Always make time to get to know friends on a deeper level, and those are the friendships you will keep.


12. If you don't want to take a risk, just do it for the story!

(see my first blog post for this one!)

13. When you have nothing left and you feel stripped and vulnerable, give all the glory to God and praise Him still. 

My travels were not always a smooth and thrilling ride. In my fortunate lifetime, I have never thought I would have the feeling of having nothing at all to my name. Well, it happened. My friend Kristen and I decided to go on a last minute weekend trip to Rome to see Pope Francis, a few days after his election to the papacy. We were really excited because it was our second trip to Rome and we were staying with friends and we already knew how to navigate the city. On Saturday, we started at our friend's house near St. Mary Major and walked to the catacombs, and then trekked across the city towards St. Peter's Square to do some shopping. It was a beautiful spring day and we were feeling confident and excited. We had returned to Rome for two reasons, to see Pope Francis and to get more amazing gelato from Frigidarium. If Rome is the center of the Church, then Frigidarium is the center of all gelato.

That was the last gelato I ever had. 

As were eating that cold deliciousness, we decided to hop on a city bus for the last few blocks to St. Peter's. 

Famous last decision. 

The bus was crowded and we struggled to even find standing room. Suddenly, a man tapped Kristen on the shoulder and pointed....her purse was open and her wallet was gone. We leapt off the bus, as if we could somehow catch the culprit. I sucked in a breath, about to start cursing and crying, but before I could, she immediately said "Praise the Lord and give Him the glory. He'll make something beautiful out of this." And with that frame of mind, we survived. After making the necessary phone calls, we decided to continue on to St. Peter's before calling it a day. I stopped in a gift shop to pick up some things to be blessed and reached for my own wallet.......it, too, was gone. To this day I have no idea what happened to mine. We had not a single coin to even take a bus back to where we were staying or even to use the public bathroom. We had basically nothing of worth left in the country, other than our phones, praise God. 

Our police reports. Good times!

Oh, but our adventure had only just begun. We still had to get back to Gaming somehow. 

After being rescued by our amazing friends, we finally got to see Pope Francis. We had nothing to lose, at that point, so we strove to gain. Here is a link to his Angelus homily about the source of the disciples' strength to keep on going. How appropriate. 

In the spirit of St. Francis himself, we made the 20 some hour train trip out of Italy only by a whole lot of begging and praying. In answer to our prayers, we had already miraculously discovered a crumpled 50 euro bill in the bottom of my backpack, sent by a friend to buy her souvenirs. We spent 44 of those euros on a train ticket to Florence, and saved the other 6 for a bus from the train station to Gaming. We prayed so hard that entire train ride; that no one would check our tickets after Florence, that no one would ask for passports, that we wouldn't need any more food or supplies. And nothing bad happened. We had nothing, but we were given everything. By praising Him through the anger, frustration, and fear, I gained trust and a renewed belief in miracles. You'd better believe we kissed the ground of the Kartause when we finally made it home. 

14. Prayers of desperation should be an everyday practice. 

During that same trip, and on a haphazard trip to Cinque Terre the week before, I really truly prayed until my heart ached. I prayed desperately because there was nothing left to do. We weren't going to get our money and documents back, we just had to get back home somehow. But when I was safely back in Gaming, my spirit exhausted from begging, I realized that I should still be praying like that. Our prayers should not wane or become more lax when we don't desperately "need" something. Every day prayer should involve a plea, a cry out for mercy, protection, and the ability to love. For when we do not have love, then we truly have nothing at all.

"And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:2-3