Rather, hope.

Pope Benedict XVI. Crying. 

15. Real men cry.

They just do. From the biggest, most moving events, to the smallest touching moments. One weeknight in Austria, I watched The Notebook with two of the most incredibly manly men I know, and one cried (and even knew which parts to cry at), and the other fought the tears with anger. And that is ok. If you have a big heart, then you won't be afraid to let it shine through. Be moved. It's a beautiful thing.

You know who you are. :)

Warrior brothers. Crying. 

Ray Lewis. SuperBowl champ. Crying. 

The most real man of our time. Crying. 

16. We receive a changed heart every day. 

You could say this sentence became my theme for the semester. Thank goodness for continual conversion and constant stirring of the spirit in my heart, or I'd be running on the treadmill of an empty life. One of my favorite Bible stories is the story of the adulteress in John chapter 8. She feels like she can never get out of this deep, dark hole she has found herself in. She feels like her situation is all her fault and no one can save her now, because her life will always be a dirty mess. She feels like she will only be remembered as the cheater, the whore, the girl who has no self-control, because that is what she is. I don't deserve to go on because nothing will change, she thinks. So often we join her there, curled up on the ground, weighed down by hopelessness. It's nothing new, this stoning punishment. Then, as she crouches there in the dust, bracing herself for the blows, she hears a voice over her. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." To her amazement, she hears the stones fall from their hands to the ground around her and soon she is alone with Him. He looks her in the eyes and says, "Neither do I condemn you. Go, and do not sin again." He made her new. He placed a new heart where the stony one had been, so that she could get up and move forward. Every morning, when I open my eyes, after hitting snooze 36 times, I ask for a new heart. A heart that isn't prideful like it was yesterday, a heart that isn't lukewarm like it was yesterday, a heart that isn't despairing like it was yesterday. And every morning, he says to me, "Behold, I make all things new."

"Neither do I condemn you."

Here is a video I made for the middle school religious ed at my parish about God's never-ending promise to make us new again. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCHIA6e-aIg&feature=youtu.be 

17. Do not despair for this generation who reject the Lord, there is hope. 

When I went on mission to Romania, I spent most of my days planning the youth night events for the teens. I then spent my nights doing skits and making a fool of myself, giving talks on chastity and prayer, and leading small groups along with my team. Then, I did it all over again. It was exhausting in every meaning of the word, but especially when I spoke to the teens and felt their ominous despair. It seemed like they all want to leave Romania because they feel like they can't be themselves and fulfill their dreams there. They feel like they are trapped in the world and there is no other choice. Many of them could not even comprehend why we would rather enjoy our careers than make the most money (i.e. youth minister, missionary, teacher). It was very hard to meet them there and break through those high walls that they didn't even know they were building. My team and I often felt pulled down too, at times running out of words to encourage them. But by the end of the week, buried deep within them...there was a tiny seed of hope. One after the other, they asked questions and leaned forward intently as we told them about adoration and confession and chastity. I don't know what they are doing today, but at least they know that hope is a real and living Person.

18. Everyone has a home in the Catholic Church, especially in Rome. 

If I had to describe how I felt when I walked into St. Peter's Basilica in Rome in one word, it would beyond a doubt be HOME. I know this seems to go against my other post, but really it doesn't. That place is the heart of the Body of Christ, that is the Church. Even if you aren't Catholic, that place is your home, and you know that as soon as you step through the doorway and your breath is taken away by the sheer massiveness and beauty of it all. My neck got tired from wandering around with my head up in the air and my mouth open like a dork. There's even a kind of holy light filtering through the upper windows that gives the whole basilica a glow. That feeling of awe can only be attributed to the realization that we belong to something much bigger than our youth group, our parish, or our school. We belong to the Catholic Church, the oldest church founded by Christ, Himself. There are 1.2 billion people who all follow the same beautiful and unchanging teachings, all lead by one man, Pope Francis. Oh, and he happens to live right around the corner from St. Peter's.

Everyone belongs.

Everyone should feel an unmistakeable pull towards Rome.

I know I always will.

19. If the Church is our home, why wouldn't we run to her?? 

This is embarrassing because the person who said this most definitely has no idea that his passing comment has stuck in my mind all this time. So, I am sorry Nick, if you happen to read this and think I'm a crazy lady! :) My friend Nick is a seminarian. He sat behind me on the bus on the long and miserable road trip through the night from Gaming to Rome. We arrived in Rome around 6AM and there was an appointed group that was prepared to run, yes I said run, through the streets to St. Peter's Square to get a spot in line for Pope Benedict XVI's last audience. At one point as the bus was parking, I turned around and Nick was magically wearing his cassock. I said, "Are you a runner?" to which he replied, "I'm home! Why wouldn't I be running??" I was moved. And he was off at a sprint after his beautiful  Bride-to-be, the big ol' Church. Awesome. Thanks, Nick!